Ah yes, why marbles?

A dear friend told me once that everyone is like a marble in a bowl. As the bowl tips and turns, the marble can end up on the edge, at the very bottom or sometimes it just cruises the sides. But at the end of the day, once it's all said and done, the marble will come back to the bottom of the bowl.

I can't think of a more true analogy. There is an essence to everyone, a baseline existence or personality. People travel, marry, grieve but in time, the bowl settles and the marble comes back to the bottom.

I firmly believe that people don't change, they just mellow. But as I fight this disease I find myself wondering if I am not somehow fundamentally different. I worry that my essence, my optimism, my fight is somehow going to be squeezed out. I have already given up so many activities and dreams, but to give up part of myself... it seems to much to ask. This disease is an affront to my very basic beliefs. My marble is somehow out of the bowl.