Where I am now...

So I have been on my island Since March 18th. Around 6 weeks. Here is what I have realized:

1.) It is hard to come into a new community where people don't know me, much less a community that is transient and has no particular reason to understand me. They won't be working with me long term, they are not around me enough to make it worth it to try.

2.) This particular community favors those who are healthy, those that are active, those that can do it all themselves and those who are not a burden. I am none of these things.

3.) I cannot take risks. I have no lee-way. I eat a bad meal, I feel bad for days. I get e-coli (like I did the 2nd day here) and I feel sick for 3 weeks. I cannot skimp on sleep, it is a huge gamble. This is the part that is the hardest. I am high maintance because if I am not, then I get really sick.

4.) This isn't in my head. It might seem like it, but honestly I feel pretty damn good right now, and it makes me realize that it was bad before.

The bottom line: there are few physical things people can do for me. what I really need is emotional support, which takes trust, which takes time and effort. I feel supported now, but I also feel pretty healthy right now. What if I feel crappy again? will my co-workers be here for me? Can I expect that? am I being reasonable? Am I dysfunctionally rescuing myself??