A reserve of strength

I have been debating this Mid-march deadline. (see below posts) Am I ready? Can I do it? Am I being stupid?

You know what, fuck it. I'm going. If I fail, I fail but I gotta try. No one can guarantee me anything in terms of this disease. Staying home probably won't make me better either.

So if I don't make it - I'll deal with that when it happens. But for now, I have to at least give it a go. I am healthy enough to try - to see if being psychologically happy and successful can boost my immune system enough to kick this on more permanent basis.

Though I feel sick, I also feel strong today. Strength in this belief that I am going to make it. That the nausea is my body telling me it's ready to be on less antibiotics, that some sunshine, activity, adventure, and distance from home will help, not hurt. It's an optimistic day today. I believe in me.