ps

I do think this is lame. Blogging seems self-glorifying. But I am doing it in self-preservation. I cannot answer honestly how I am doing to everyone that asks - it's too long and complicated.

So this blog is to answer my friend's questions, to let them into my mind and to allow them to see what I am really dealing with because I can't really tell you every time we talk and even if I do, I'm probably going to downplay the impending doom, the frustration and the change that I feel like is happening to me.

(love)(love)(love)