I went dancing. It was wonderful. But I am lonely. I have wonderful friends but I am antsy. Still unhappy? I guess so. The drugs aren't too bad, seriously. I feel well enough to stop beating myself up about being a burden. This whole crazy experience has forced me to look at myself in the context of my friends, family, and other relationships.

But really, I can't figure out how to live within the conclusions I've made about myself, my family and my life. I don't know how to fight for me yet. With this new job, I just keep wondering if I am being a fool... Riding the wave.

Someone needs to teach me how to get consistent exercise, how to love myself despite the size and position on the wave, and how to be. Just accept this as a great adventure in and of itself, Liz, come on.