With my health back, I realize I attempt to reflect on the experience. But as soon as I start thinking about it, I realize I don't want to... that there hasn't been enough time or space physically or mentally.

But someday I will really be able to look back, acknowledge lymes for what it was and how it affected me. And then, hopefully, I'll be able to share. And I share mostly, I guess, for me. Because there is nothing more clarifying then writing. And because I secretly hope that my story can give someone else strength. You can get better, you will. And in the pain and frustration you will grow.

Argentina...

well. last year this time I was really sick. I just went back and reread some of my first entries and started crying. I couldn't even drive and I was miserably locked inside a mental/physical prison.

Currently, I am actually in a foreign country. I had paid for a TEFL program spring of 2006 but was unable to go because of the IV treatment but I am, 1 year later, down here. Living away from my doctors, away from known diets/foods and away from my normal schedule. It really is crazy - when I pause to reflect I cry. I can't believe I am here, and mostly, I can't believe I went through what I did last year. It was awful.

I am currently taking only 4 different medications and I only take them twice a day. The medications are herbs, so my body is responding well. I still have lingering digestive problems (definitely starting to resolve) and flare a bit around my period.

But really, I feel almost totally okay. My energy is way up... I'd put myself at 95%. I even think it will last.

And it's crazy, down here no one knows I am sick. No one was around to witness the 4 year battle ... there is no guilt-sympathy, there is no slack, there is no expectation for an alteration of their behavior. It's been a really nice change to be free of the eggshells and guilt.

I feel like I am breathing fresh air. And maybe I am better. It's incredible.