Septmeber 4 years ago...

was the beginning of illness for me. It is when it all started, when the fatigue started setting in and I ignored it. When my life, my confidence as knew it changed, eroded and was replaced.

I can't quite reflect, look at it through an emotional lens... it's still too raw. I still cannot even begin to imagine what it all means for me.

But I know that 4 years ago I was beginning this journey and hopefully, now I am finishing it.

confidence and confidence eroding

It's been awhile, almost two months... which is a good sign. I have managed to survive two seasons at Outward Bound. I finished a 22 day course. It was incredible, life changing, inspiring, amazing.

I didn't have to lie in bed for 3 days afterwards, I didn't run a fever. I felt good. Like I made it.

And I did. I am healthy. But I am also still fighting digestive problems that keep me tired. I am still on the herbal protocol, I am still exhausted from time to time. But most likely not from Lymes, from other diseases that come from having a weakened immune system and a totally torn to shit digestive track.

But I am hopeful, well, sort of. I still am waiting for the day I cycle back into fatigue and sickness. Maybe it won't happen but today I am not very positive.