Getting there...

The nausea has diminished. I am mostly sticking to the protocol and I feel optimistic. Really, for the first time in years I feel like I might beat this. That I might be able to get better. I wrote earlier about not wanting to take pills and live inside the lines - but right now, I'd be happy for that life. I'll take it with gratitude. Let me go, even with restrictions. Anything is better than the ball and chain of the IV.

I can look back now a bit. I can let myself feel a bit more and realize how difficult it was in the beginning, how taxing it is to be an IV patient, how hopeless it felt. It's like only when the pain is gone can you realize how bad it was to begin with. Humans lower their standards so easily, accept life at a certain level. It's hard to fight for the higher standard when you are healthy, let alone sick - you truly have to have people who will do it for you. People who will believe for you, people who will fight for you.

The prognosis now is 2.5 more months of anitbiotics and then onto homeopathic/immune therapy stuff... that feels so short, so completely do-able.