Tired

I am getting to know my body really well - and I am lymes tired again. After a good week, I am fighting digestive problems and lack of energy. Another wave. Another crash. I'll put the thoughts of travel and a part-time job on hold (again). I really hate feeling like this. Better. worse. better. worse. worse. I was secretly holding out for my IV to be out by the beginning of Feb... to be able to make it to London and to Mardi Gras and be able to hold down a job to give myself some purpose in life.

Not that frusturated this time around though, just tired.

And at the same time

Even as I wrote that last post... here's what was really going through my head:

My digestive track is a nightmare, I am developing food allergies. My white blood cell count is low again. My sleep pattern is screwed up (not that it ever really recovered). I will spent a grand total of 22 hours in the doctors this week coming up. And I keep dreaming about swimming.

Also, my world is narrowing. I have to stay within in parameters - if I sleep well, take my meds, exercise when I can, sauna regularly and eat all the right foods, then maybe I can get healthy. That is a frustrating box to stay in. I can't push it, eat ice cream or stay up to watch the ball drop... but if I just don't do the things I want, then partial health can be mine!

Blow me.

It's been awhile... it's a good thing

I haven't written - I've been busy eating foods I shouldn't, staying up too late and breaking all the rules.

BUT that is to say that I can (do all that). That I have started craving exercise and to check things off my to-do list. That I can go out dancing until 4am and not take 2 weeks to recover. That is so say... there has been marked improvement. Treatment is working.

Get excited, I am slowly becoming me again.